It is the month of Birthdays in the house of the Lilliputians and Labradors. My little warriors are five today with the Engineer following with a nice round 40 tomorrow. I have my turn at the end of the month, but I think with all the celebrations, we may just forget that one J
I am a big believer in the celebration of life. With lockdown we missed out on celebrating so many things with family and friends. Even the Engineer agreed to a shindig this past weekend.
So yes, this tonotopic is me dedicating something to my tribe, if this is too soppy for you, you are welcome to move along.
This morning the Engineer and I woke the two by singing… Hannes immediately shushed us and said that only his beloved teacher is allowed to sing, we should rather be focused on his breakfast and who will be putting the bike together this afternoon. Lisa was choosing her outfit for the day. Birthdays are apparently for photos and wardrobe is important.
Many people have said to me “it must be hard” especially when they were babies and I couldn’t figure out the damn stroller (usually with someone screaming in the car). I would like to tell these (unhelpful) people that yes, it was hard, but, I am sure that a single baby is hard too. I am also 99% sure that having two kids close in age is even harder. But what is true is that this is all I know. And heaven knows, you do what you have to do.
I am however humbled (and stupefied) by how different these two beings are. And so grateful that they are not competing with one another for their place to shine. Hannes the Humble is a head taller than Lisa and really just wants everyone to have a great time. He is not at all competitive and have been known to give a chair away during musical chairs simply so that no one is upset. Win or lose, it does not matter to him he just wants to be part of things. He will cheer with you!
Lisa the Leader is the instigator of my little tribe. She thinks up the mischief, but is, in most cases, too small. Enters her slave, Hannes. He will do anything and everything Lisa tells him to do. I am unsure sometimes whether out of fear or loyalty. Probably a bit of both. She is very strict and knows exactly what she wants or how she wants things done. And you cannot deviate. Even if you do not understand what the sudden tears are about. She once had a meltdown because the Engineer was not sitting in the chair correctly while tying her hair. He apparently had to sit like me. Who knew? She also likes to pull things apart with so many questions that it will make your head spin. Interrogation methods? She will be able to write a book as soon as she has this writing thing down.
So what have I learnt in the last five years:
If you are not a morning person, you will pass it on to the next generation and have the pleasure of arguing with a little version of yourself Every. Single. Day.
These arguments will be about things like you issuing them with the incorrect spoon, you giving them the cereal they asked for and no longer desire, and hurrying up… I have a friend who told me it is like herding cats.
If you answer a question with “I will have to get back to you on that”, you better get back to them. They remember everything you promised but not necessarily to put on underwear when they start dressing themselves.
You will forever hear a child crying when you are in the shower… even if they are not even home.
Every child has their own dominant frequency and this can be switched off on your hearing aid (Hannes’s wailing was switched off for a year during lockdown). I bet the hearing world is just a tad jealous about that one.
Acting fairly is not as simple as giving everyone a snack when they get home. It is also about seating arrangements in front of the TV, who gets to pee where, and where the dogs sleep.
Wet wipes are fabricated in heaven and I don’t know what I did without them for 35 years.
When your husband compliments you, suspicion with regard to the motivation arises. When a 4-year-old compliments you, you will feel like a rockstar all day.
Even if you ban them from the bathroom when you just need a minute, they will sit outside the door, reminding you every two seconds that they are waiting for you.
They remember more than you think. They will for example remind you of the time you let them fall off the changing station, even if they were only 4 months at the time.
They know exactly how bad your day was and will do anything in their power to make sure that it is only downhill from there.
Bandaids have superpowers and can heal even invisible wounds. Especially if there is a cartoon character on them.
You will learn the hard way that they know exactly what you are saying even if you think that you are using your special code with the Engineer, by repeating the nasty remark on someone’s weight gain, or outfit, when they see them again.
What worked for the lunchbox today may not be a winner tomorrow. They will also decide that they don’t like something they loved 5 minutes ago because someone else decided that they did not like it.
These are just a few of the lessons that I have learned over the last five years. I am thinking that I have already forgotten a few as well, because God has grace. The bottom line is that five years were very long and went very quick… parenting is funny that way.