What my reading challenge taught me about New Year’s resolutions
I somehow feel that I should apologise for this post… because this is what everyone does, isn’t it? I have always said that I will not be making New Year’s resolutions because I tend to set myself up for disappointment.
Last December (2019), before we knew that the world would go mad, and fall apart, I set myself a Goodreads challenge. I have chatted about Goodreads before, and how it feeds into my tracking fascination so well. This was my third year setting this challenge and I had to acknowledge, finally, that being grown-up, meant that I was not able to read as much as I used to… mostly because, most nights, I would actually fall asleep on the second page. So for 2020, I said 18 books. A little more than once a month. And I almost made it. Today is the 31st of December and I should finish book 17 today. So close and yet so far!!
This made me think about why we challenge ourselves. I tend to do this in a lot of areas of my life. I set myself Strava challenges for my running, I have this ongoing stand-off with the bathroom scale and on Sunday evenings I always promise myself that I will not be drinking wine the coming week… which usually vapourises into the nothingness by the second meeting on a Monday when I motivate myself with my glass of wine reward that evening… for not stabbing anyone with a fork.
Is it a reward thing? Is it something simple where you can pat yourself on the back for doing what you set out to do? Is it a form of goalsetting? Probably a combination of many things.
But what has my 2020 reading challenge taught me. That you cannot imagine what any given year will be like. Certainly 2020 has shown us this and then continued to kick our asses into 2021! It has taught me to be realistic about my goals, acknowledging my limitations, but not as an excuse to be lazy. It has taught me that I am motivated by movement. Every little thing should be considered as part of the whole. Every little step is progress… even if it is backwards it may have taught me something or pointed me in another direction.
A challenge allows us to document and evaluate and compare. And isn’t this the basis of growth? And do we not in essence challenge ourselves into things to look forward to in some twisted reward system?
So as I am taking time today, to sit down and do an annual debrief (I am making use of a start stop continue list for this – it has already morphed into a second page) I acknowledge that my aversion to setting new year’s resolutions has actually been blown apart this year, because I started with a mindfulness journey of which a big part is goalsetting. And how is that different than a resolution? How is that different from being accountable? How does a new year’s resolution not fit into my whole method?
So yes, I am making a list, divided into categories, colour coded, highlighted and sticky-noted.
I am planning my way into New Year’s resolutions. My 2020 reading challenge’s biggest lesson is therefore never say never. I admit defeat and I surrender.