Goodness and grace! How did we get here? Probably both goodness and grace, right?
Today the Lilliputians are 6 years old. I have been a mother for 6 years already. I have to admit that this first year in a new school and different classes… it has been tough on this Mamma.
So let me see what are the new lessons the Lilliputians and I learnt this year. Note that this is in no particular order.
Mornings do not become easier when your kiddos get older. It has not thus far, anyway. Everybody is still conscious before me, even when I sometimes get up before everyone. Some of us love it (the men in the house), and some of us need a reward for making the effort.
Do not throw away art projects anywhere that you will be caught out. It needs to happen while everyone is away, preferably in the neighbour’s trash. If you do not get this right there will be a panicked wail from the kitchen when someone finally remembers to actually throw away their apple core and you will be asked to explain yourself through snot and tears. Note this could be anything: half a drawing that was made on a napkin, the friend’s drawing that ended up in the school bag by mistake. It could be the crumpled-up one at the bottom of the school bag.
Swimming lessons are absolutely worth every cent and also every excruciating minute that you have to sit there for them to learn to swim. Holidays are COMPLETELY different once they are water safe.
If you are going to show them one of your favourite childhood movies, be sure to have craft material for them to build something. You know, like paint and a DeLorean for a time machine.
Rewards that are thought out by parents are not always valid and usually lame. Rewards thought out by teachers and basically anyone else are amazing, even if they are the exact same thing…
Both the men in my house like to sing the wrong words at the top of their lungs to any given song. The one does it on purpose (has been doing so for the last 20 years to piss me off) and the other one does it because he really thinks that those are the lyrics. Both of these gents also like to sing a totally different song than the one that is actually playing. We may need to limit music in the house for this reason.
You become a chef the moment you put on an apron.
Little boys cry when you throw away the boxes that the wine delivery came in because they wanted to build a [insert any impossibility here].
My mother was not really sorry when she pulled my hair while making my school pigtails. You only learn this one when you have to do it for someone else.
When you are six, food tastes better when you don’t know what it is. As soon as any ingredient is actually identified, it is something that you no longer consume.
Lunchboxes should contain whatever the friend had for lunch yesterday.
The answer “no” to the question “does anyone need the bathroom” is only valid for the next three seconds or however long it takes to get everyone strapped into the car.
Actual school days are long and may cause collapse before dinnertime. If you are Lisa usually on the carpet where she was busy playing with something.
If you manage to tell your daughter a BS story about a mouse that dishes out money for teeth… it is going to bite you in the ass. Yo can read all about that here.
Books were and always will be amazing, and the best part of the day is story time. ALSO the book Alice in Wonderland is really long…
You can learn to ride your bike without the training wheels through sheer willpower in one afternoon. You will, however, then only be able to turn right. You will also only figure out the breaks much later. It is important to crash into your sibling or your jogging parent as many times as possible.
Twins should not be in the same class, because the one will cross out her brother’s name and rewrite it because it was not pleasing to the eye.
Change is generally hard, but for some it is harder.
You are blessed if not both of your children leave things everywhere, because then the one will check the other one’s bag.
Everybody loves stickers.
Someone should write down the nightmares that kids have. You can make millions with that movie deal!
YouTube Kids will get on your last nerve because you realise that every minute spent on whatever nonsense they are watching, that little family who are pretending to be real live mermaids, building a bomb or making dinner, are making actual money… while annoying the crap out of you.
So yes, the list is long and definitely incomplete…
But yes, we are at six. I was also happy to realise that you forget things. New parents have asked for advice and I had to honestly tell them that I cannot remember. Probably due to sleep deprivation or alcohol consumption, or both. But all in all, I feel blessed.
Happy birthday little people! You amaze me daily.