But for the grace of God, there go I

I have been feeling that I am playing catch up for the last… year J. I never feel like I am ahead of schedule, always something more on the list. Always something to strive for. So on the days when my kids are wearing matching socks and I did actually remember to pack the lunch the night before, I do expect high fives all round.

And when chatting to others, I realise that this is a reality for many. Maybe because we expect so much from ourselves, maybe because we put pressure on ourselves.

But isn’t it all just perception?

The school run this morning is a good example. It’s been getting colder and darker and more difficult to get the troops moving. The Lilliputians are also experts at negotiation, which means that I usually lose about 6 fights before 7am. This morning I lost my… good humour… because the one had an issue about the seating arrangements in the car. Now, we usually walk to school, but in my haste, and the fact that I was driving to the office anyway, I thought that dropping off would be quicker. Little did I know…

Finally arriving at school, getting masked up and herding everyone to the gate, wiping sweat, tears and snot, I overheard another mother, there was a disagreement about a blanket or a backpack… perhaps a shoe. I realised that we all have our mornings. We all have struggles about shoes and seating arrangements and the contents of the lunchbox.

At the end of the day, they all get to school. And my struggle this morning was probably shared by many other parents.

In a society where we are all super quick to roll our eyes at the tantrum of another’s child, a person who is driving a little slow, me when I run into the shop without makeup or the guy who forgot his wallet in his car and has already unpacked all the groceries at the till point… Can we not all just take a breath and realise that everyone is trying their best. Everyone is not perfect. Everyone needs a little extra time, caffeine and a kind, understanding nod every now and again. Because on any day it could be you.

Because, for the grace of God, there go I.

As parents, co-workers, fellow human beings… can we not just trust in one another that we are all doing our best? I think, that this can probably only happen, if we believe this of ourselves…

At the end of 2020…

What my reading challenge taught me about New Year’s resolutions

I somehow feel that I should apologise for this post… because this is what everyone does, isn’t it? I have always said that I will not be making New Year’s resolutions because I tend to set myself up for disappointment.

Last December (2019), before we knew that the world would go mad, and fall apart, I set myself a Goodreads challenge. I have chatted about Goodreads before, and how it feeds into my tracking fascination so well. This was my third year setting this challenge and I had to acknowledge, finally, that being grown-up, meant that I was not able to read as much as I used to… mostly because, most nights, I would actually fall asleep on the second page. So for 2020, I said 18 books. A little more than once a month. And I almost made it. Today is the 31st of December and I should finish book 17 today. So close and yet so far!!

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