July 2021 – Tonotopics

July 28, 2021July 28, 2021

The interruption of loss

I have been wanting to write about this for a few days now, but have not been able to… get it right, somehow. A friend passed away in the early hours of the 12^th of July and as these things go, I have had to go through a few emotions. And although I still want to dedicate a post to her, this is not that post.

Yes, it was sudden. Yes, she was too young. No, I don’t know what happened. She was a little sick, and then became very sick, but it was unexpected. Yes, we spoke every day. No, it is certainly not my grief and loss alone, but the process of grieving has left me lost at sea.

July 22, 2021July 23, 2021

Skaamkwaad – anger born in shame

<i>Skaamkwaad</i> is an Afrikaans term, one of my father’s favourites. It is defined as a reaction of “anger born in shame”. This is also one of my least favourite traits in myself. I am well versed in having this reaction. I have however also become an expert in knowing when other people will react this way. Usually, after I have said the wrong thing. The moment my little sarcastic comment is expelled to the universe I will realise that I have said the wrong thing to the wrong person. Because isn’t that also true? Some people will laugh with you at their own expense because it rings of truth, but some will just… leave the conversation never to return. I myself like to take the “how can you say such a thing” approach and go off on a tangent, usually from some embarrassingly high horse – in an attempt to defend something that I know is actually true. Others, like to take the passive-aggressive approach.

July 6, 2021July 6, 2021

Neglect

It has been a month, the month of June 2021. We had a beautiful holiday in Magoebaskloof. We did not see another soul and still came back after a week of fresh air and hiking to be tested positive for COVID. So be warned that this is not a perfectly planned and edited post, it may come off as a bit of a rant. So look at me being kind and inserting the ” read more” option here.