Me time – Anxiety management – Page 3

July 28, 2021July 28, 2021

The interruption of loss

I have been wanting to write about this for a few days now, but have not been able to… get it right, somehow. A friend passed away in the early hours of the 12^th of July and as these things go, I have had to go through a few emotions. And although I still want to dedicate a post to her, this is not that post.

Yes, it was sudden. Yes, she was too young. No, I don’t know what happened. She was a little sick, and then became very sick, but it was unexpected. Yes, we spoke every day. No, it is certainly not my grief and loss alone, but the process of grieving has left me lost at sea.

July 22, 2021July 23, 2021

Skaamkwaad – anger born in shame

<i>Skaamkwaad</i> is an Afrikaans term, one of my father’s favourites. It is defined as a reaction of “anger born in shame”. This is also one of my least favourite traits in myself. I am well versed in having this reaction. I have however also become an expert in knowing when other people will react this way. Usually, after I have said the wrong thing. The moment my little sarcastic comment is expelled to the universe I will realise that I have said the wrong thing to the wrong person. Because isn’t that also true? Some people will laugh with you at their own expense because it rings of truth, but some will just… leave the conversation never to return. I myself like to take the “how can you say such a thing” approach and go off on a tangent, usually from some embarrassingly high horse – in an attempt to defend something that I know is actually true. Others, like to take the passive-aggressive approach.

July 6, 2021July 6, 2021

Neglect

It has been a month, the month of June 2021. We had a beautiful holiday in Magoebaskloof. We did not see another soul and still came back after a week of fresh air and hiking to be tested positive for COVID. So be warned that this is not a perfectly planned and edited post, it may come off as a bit of a rant. So look at me being kind and inserting the ” read more” option here.

May 14, 2021May 12, 2021

Reinterpretation… reimagination

I learnt about the reinterpretation of famous works this week. I even tried my hand at it!

This is my tangle attempt at Starry night by Van Gogh:

And also the Bridge over the lily pond by Monet:

May 12, 2021May 12, 2021

But for the grace of God, there go I

I have been feeling that I am playing catch up for the last… year J. I never feel like I am ahead of schedule, always something more on the list. Always something to strive for. So on the days when my kids are wearing matching socks and I did actually remember to pack the lunch the night before, I do expect high fives all round.

And when chatting to others, I realise that this is a reality for many. Maybe because we expect so much from ourselves, maybe because we put pressure on ourselves.

But isn’t it all just perception?

The school run this morning is a good example. It’s been getting colder and darker and more difficult to get the troops moving. The Lilliputians are also experts at negotiation, which means that I usually lose about 6 fights before 7am. This morning I lost my… good humour… because the one had an issue about the seating arrangements in the car. Now, we usually walk to school, but in my haste, and the fact that I was driving to the office anyway, I thought that dropping off would be quicker. Little did I know…

Finally arriving at school, getting masked up and herding everyone to the gate, wiping sweat, tears and snot, I overheard another mother, there was a disagreement about a blanket or a backpack… perhaps a shoe. I realised that we all have our mornings. We all have struggles about shoes and seating arrangements and the contents of the lunchbox.

At the end of the day, they all get to school. And my struggle this morning was probably shared by many other parents.

In a society where we are all super quick to roll our eyes at the tantrum of another’s child, a person who is driving a little slow, me when I run into the shop without makeup or the guy who forgot his wallet in his car and has already unpacked all the groceries at the till point… Can we not all just take a breath and realise that everyone is trying their best. Everyone is not perfect. Everyone needs a little extra time, caffeine and a kind, understanding nod every now and again. Because on any day it could be you.

Because, for the grace of God, there go I.

As parents, co-workers, fellow human beings… can we not just trust in one another that we are all doing our best? I think, that this can probably only happen, if we believe this of ourselves…